lea_hazel: Angry General Elodie (Feel: RAEG)

If people keep fucking whining about any ending that isn't a "happily ever after" I will literally stop interacting with other humans forever. I cannot with this goddamn bullshit. It makes me want to gnaw my arm off.

(no subject)

Saturday, 28 January 2017 12:30
lea_hazel: The Little Mermaid (Default)
It's amazing how some shows can be, like, not even about politics at all. And yet there are all these deeply ingrained assumptions, and they're buried so deep if you even mention them people look at you like you've grown a second head.

I watched one episode of Limitless. I'm not sure why, I was just looking for something mind-numbing and it happened to be there. I can't even put a finger on what pisses me off about this show. Rather, I'm not sure I could trace out every last thing about this show that so, so irredeemably messed up. And I'm not even talking about the broken facts, or the infuriating repetition of the whole "100% of your brain" myth.

Still, it's much more comfortable than being angry about other things, and it is the weekend.
lea_hazel: The outlook is somewhat dismal (Feel: Crash and Burn)
This is a terrifying thing to admit, thirty thousand words into a story.

I had started with a couple of rough character sketches and some tentative worldbuilding, and decided I would figure out the plot as I went along. Meanwhile I was nurturing the secondary protagonist's identity crisis, which was supposed to be the secondary, supporting, plot thread. Guess what happened next.

Now I am more than halfway through a story that is not adventure, not intrigue, not mystery, and not even a proper romance. The closest thing to redeeming value in the plot as it stands, is that it could possibly be literary fiction -- if the characters weren't anthro bats.

Like, I'm not even talking "how do I market this". More like, "what the fuck did I just write".

So I stick to the short term, and realize that the next thing that needs to happen is a character mailing a letter to their mother.
lea_hazel: Don't make me look up from my book (Basic: Reading)
I read historical romances once in a blue moon, when I have a craving for three hundred pages of their particular brand of frustration. Earlier in the weekend I picked one up on half a whim and have been tearing through it ever since. With some breaks.

Pro: crossdressing, briefly.

Con: heroine has that obnoxious protagonistic habit of insisting, over and over, that she's not pretty.

Read more... )

(no subject)

Monday, 18 July 2016 18:31
lea_hazel: Don't make me look up from my book (Basic: Reading)
Just read (rather, skimmed the beginning of) a gushing review of The Secret Garden and Heidi, two books that I've grown to loathe since I read them as a child. Read more... )

I'd comment on the actual review, but I'm 100% sure that I'd lose my temper, express myself poorly, end up hating every word I say, and ultimately gravely regret the whole experience. I'm bad at having opinions.
lea_hazel: A frowning white theater mask (Feel: Sad Face :()
My nail care routine is such a disaster. I feel like I've basically spent four years trying to quit biting my nails, and it never quite takes. Pretty colors don't seem to be quite enough of a motivator. Even when I'm biting and I catch myself and tell myself to stop, that message somehow doesn't seem to reach the right part of my brain.


Sunday, 28 July 2013 14:59
lea_hazel: The outlook is somewhat dismal (Feel: Crash and Burn)
Uni tried to give me a panic attack by writing the wrong course title on the test paper, thus making me think I might have signed up for the wrong class and would end up not qualifying for a BSc.

I signed up for the right class. And I took the right test. And I'm pretty sure I passed. And Tumblr is blocked on this browser until 5 PM so I'm crawling into bed with my tablet.


Thursday, 20 June 2013 11:17
lea_hazel: A frowning white theater mask (Feel: Sad Face :()
Right now my main problem is that I don't want to study because the material is boring and I don't care about this test.

I'm also feeling a bit of push back because the therapist seemed very insistent about me not letting this one slide with a sixty and I got a really YOU'RE THROWING YOUR FUTURE AWAY vibe from her. I might be projecting, there's no way to tell.


Thursday, 6 June 2013 15:45
lea_hazel: Don't make me look up from my book (Basic: Reading)
A bad kmeme fill and a trip down memory lane have reminded me of how disappointed I am with contemporary dystopian fiction. I remember reading incisive satirical novels based on deep political insights and exhaustive historical research. Now almost everything I see seems based on the premise of "heteronormative generically pretty teens valiantly struggle against the evils of a society in which LAHV is FAHBIDAHN by slobbering all over each other."

Children are insolent and everyone is writing a (shitty) book. I need help.


Wednesday, 29 May 2013 10:34
lea_hazel: The Little Mermaid (Politics: Liberty/Justice)
I posted "the Margaret Atwood" on a thread about geek dating and my comment received two downvotes. I shall wear them with pride.

Then they went on to talk about how pretty girls never have any problems. #misandry4lyfe

I cannot

Thursday, 25 April 2013 13:50
lea_hazel: The Little Mermaid (Default)
I was about to make a post about anxiety but was momentarily rendered insensible by anxiety. Like I was staring blankly at the screen with my cursor hovering over the icon list, just... senseless with anxiety.

Goddamnit. I told myself that I knew how to deal with this shit. Am I going to have to take the rest of the day off? I need that time to do work, or at a bare minimum write. Right now I'm staring not finishing my degree in the face, like, every damn day. If I don't put out a proposal soon I might as well throw in the towel. And then set it on fire.
lea_hazel: Neuron cell (Science: Brains)
How do I not have a panic attack about the possibility of failing a class because of a communication breakdown that has nothing to do with all the work I did for it or everything I learned?

These are all the ideas I had )


Monday, 28 January 2013 18:52
lea_hazel: A frowning white theater mask (Feel: Sad Face :()
I was trying to turn over a new leaf and so I never added a RAGE icon to this journal. I'm beginning to regret this.

I have arthritis. It was very bad for a while. It got better, much better. It's been about five years since I last (regularly) walked with a limp. Today it took a Pilates teacher ten minutes flat to fuck up my knee so bad I pretty much had to throw in the metaphoric towel and leave. Half an hour later, now I'm home with a heating pad.

My assessment is that it's not too bad. If I don't agitate it it ought to be fine by tomorrow. Mostly it's the shock that got to me, I think? It's been forever since I felt this hobbled. I had gotten so comfortable with my previous Pilates provider that I let my guard down and forgot why I'm innately suspicious of workout culture.

Now is no time to try and solve the bigger issue, I'm still too nervous and I'd just end up driving myself up the wall. I will watch Lost Girl and produce some supper and eventually everything will be back-to-baseline okay.


Thursday, 3 January 2013 18:55
lea_hazel: The outlook is somewhat dismal (Feel: Crash and Burn)
I bear a completely irrational and disproportionate hate for the psychology textbook I'm reading right now, and it's making it hard to complete my assignment. Maybe it's because this chapter reads so much like a terrible new age pop-sci book about relationships and the power of lurve. For crying out loud, you do not need a freaking biology degree to know that there are no feelings in the heart. It's an organ that pumps blood. No, I do not accept that this is a metaphor. No, you are a psychologist dammit, and you should by now know for a fact that feelings live inside the brain.

Grumpy materialist is grumpy.

Okay, so [DAO].

Friday, 20 July 2012 17:16
lea_hazel: A frowning white theater mask (Feel: Sad Face :()
Third playthrough. Dalish archer.

How did I ever beat the Fade as a rogue? I know I did it, because my first PT was as a dual-wielder dwarf. But, I got into the Darkspawn Invasion and suddenly realized, crap! My guy only has two levels in dual-weapons training, and archery is just too fucking slow when there are three darkspawn coming at you!

Suddenly really glad I didn't head to the Circle of Magi first thing out of Lothering. Also, where did all my potions go? It seemed like I had an endless supply. I am starting to suspect that my second rogue is vastly inferior to my first. How to recreate the "success" of a messy, tricky, no-experience-playing-RPGs first PT that I barely remember?

Irony of ironies.

Well. At any rate, I won't have much time to play again until after my Tuesday test and Wednesday doctor's appointment, and that's assuming I don't also have a Friday test... which I probably do. Uh. See you Saturday night, internet?


Thursday, 21 June 2012 12:13
lea_hazel: The outlook is somewhat dismal (Feel: Crash and Burn)
This spring I decided I need to commit to a course of desensitization injections to deal with my allergies on a more permanent basis. I was feeling pretty good with the decision, I went to the doctor and got a referral, and set about calling the clinic to make an appointment.

Read more... )

I need a break from life.

(no subject)

Thursday, 17 May 2012 16:01
lea_hazel: The outlook is somewhat dismal (Feel: Crash and Burn)
I hate the fucking AO3. It posted my draft without permission. I really fucking hate it when people read my stuff when it's not finished. It's one thing that makes me really mad. Now I don't even know if I'll ever want to finish/post this draft. I was feeling so good about this idea and this fuck up has soured me on the whole thing.
lea_hazel: Don't make me look up from my book (Basic: Reading)
Last night I sank into an internet-induced haze wherein I was both captivated and bored at the same time. This morning I put in another stern call to my provider about terminating my account, they are supposed to phone me today, but then they were supposed to call me yesterday. They called while I was in class and my phone on silent and then never called back. I feel a little bad about being stern with the customer service person, since this has nothing to do with her, so I simply asked her to pass on to her boss or whoever is in charge that I will keep calling until my account is terminated.

I'd been planning to get rid of my (basically terrible) cable plan for ages, to save some money on services I don't need anymore and also get some more efficient service. Cable-based internet goes down all the time and I have found their tech support service mostly unreliable and subpar. Yes, of course I know some of the flaws are inherent (weekends...) to the service or technology, but what's the point of a competitive market if I can't at least try the alternative to see if it's any better? Plus I will be getting a router through the phone company, so maybe I'll have a landline installed. If the price seems reasonable. I cannot always rely on my cellphone, it's not prudent.

Tomorrow I have no classes. \o/
lea_hazel: A frowning white theater mask (Feel: Sad Face :()


DAO Fandom

Sunday, 22 April 2012 12:42
lea_hazel: I am surrounded by tiny red hearts (Feel: Love)
I have a question about Dragon Age fandom. I mean, I could wade right in, but I'm at Denerim right now and I already have more of an idea of what to expect in the future than I'd like.

I base my questions on my experiences in other fandoms. )


lea_hazel: The Little Mermaid (Default)

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