Laughter Through Tears

8 more hours before Yuletide reveals, but since it comes out late at night, for me it's "one more sleep til Yuletide". I'm gonna have to make it an extra sleepy one, because last night I was up until 3 AM for no clear reason. Which means that I barely scratched out 6 hours of sleep. After a morning errand that was kind of draining, that means that even with an extra dose of caffeine in me, I doubt I'll be doing any writing today.

It's okay. Yesterday was a good writing day (finally working on chapter 2 of Project Ghoul, after extensive edits on chapter 1). I'm also quite pleased with my Yuletide fic, which I will link to in January, after reveals. I'd hoped to maybe write treats or at least drabbles, but realized eventually that it wasn't in the cards for this years.

Of course, as soon as Yuletide is done and dusted, it's time to switch seamlessly into Purimgifts mode. But I'm pretty busy with unrelated stuff, so I probably won't get into nomming or finalizing my sign-up for a bit. Even though I have approximately a billion new fandoms, due to reading quite prolifically this year (compared to previous years).

All in all, other than the sleep deprivation, I'm doing quite well on a personal level.

Yesterday was supposed to be a good writing day, but it wasn't. I'm trying to make up for it today, but I still don't know if I'll quite make it.

On the other hand, I did manage to weave in a wolpertinger reference, which was great fun for me. Not least because it's fun to say. Wolpertinger. Hehe.

There are about 50* fics that I want to write, but since I have about 50 other, unrelated things to do, on a fairly tight schedule, I doubt I'll find time to write one or two of these ideas. Maybe.

*not actually 50.

I'm working on an early draft of my justmarriedexchange fic, while still also working on my multi-chapter Palia WIP. This is in between drafts of a still-secret origfic project. I had toyed with the idea of submitting to IFComp (despite my first foray being, uh, less than ideal), but the truth is, I have plenty on my plate, right now.

In reading news, ( I am still reading. )

I've also been rewatching Spy x Family on Netflix, and I went back and watched Code: White, too. Weirdly, the dub for that seems to have different voice actors. Netflix doesn't have that big of a library, and sometimes I'm tempted to reactivate my Crunchyroll account.

Since the proper writing work on Turncoat Chronicle was finished, back in March or April, I've been thinking nonstop about what my next long-form writing project will be. So many factors go into that decision. I've been jotting down ideas, low-key researching, browsing name databases and trawling Pinterest, and just generally thinking about what it is I want to work on.

At the same time, a billion other things are happening. There are home improvement projects for my parents' house that I'm involved in. I'm about to turn 39. My family has been planning a trip abroad that is going to be my first time leaving the country since COVID-19 happened. Just this morning, I got some complicated news that's making a stir in some of my plans for the next couple of months.

And through all of this, I am trying to hold onto my creativity.

After losing access to the journal service that I used for almost 9 years, I've been looking for a replacement with little success. Lots of places advertise apps to be downloaded on your phone, often with a variety of features that I absolutely do not need, but lacking the browser-usable web interface that I *do* need, or the kind of clean layout and tagging system that would be helpful to me.

In the interim, I'm trying to journal through the Evernote account that I already had for unrelated reasons. It's functional but not ideal.

I will make a Yuletide recs post, for sure, but I'm still slowly working my way through several longer (9-10K) fics, and also, I have today earmarked for an important chore, *and* finishing an incredibly important scene in TC. So I've got my plate full. Oh, and I have to feed the sourdough starter tonight, too.

I would like to state for the record that while I can write 3K words in five hours, I don't fucking recommend it.

Today I 1. had a dr's appointment to renew my adhd prescription (among other things), 2. sat at a cafe and read for a while, 3. went to my parents' house and worked on TC for a couple of hours, producing ~500 very fun words, 4. took a bus down to a scenic neighborhood and took a long walk, while also playing pokemon go.

I got home exhausted, but it was a good day.

It has also made me think about what I'll do when TC is finished (which might be quite soon). I have several other projects I might work on. I'd also like to return to short fiction and twine games, a little. But first thing, I think I ought to take a full whole month to do absolutely nothing. No thoughts brain empty, for a full thirty days.

Yes. Good plan.

Yesterday I was with family all day for Rosh Hashana (part of our elaborate family tradition), except in the evening, when I manag4ed to do some light outlining work, and compose a reply-to-a-reply for one of my meta posts on Tumblr.

Today, I was planning to do a full workday, even though it's technically chag. I had two writing intervals scheduled on my calendar, one for the morning and one for the afternoon. That should have left room for household chores, decent break time, and even a long morning routine.

Except that my brain kind of refused to gel? It does that sometimes.

Then when I was making my after-lunch coffee, I contemplated what else changed in my routine recently. And Even though I've never managed to do that single-minded focus that other ADHD-having people get with their medication... I think I finally have some insight into how it *does* affect me.

I'm going to try to test that theory tomorrow, and possibly on Friday, too. I'll report back if I'm successful.