EGADS

Wednesday, 1 March 2017 20:00
lea_hazel: Kermit: OMG YAY *flail* (Feel: OMGYAY)
I am not delusional because I got a 95 on my logic exam. 91 overall.

Miracles

Thursday, 18 July 2013 14:54
lea_hazel: Neuron cell (Science: Brains)
Miracle of miracles, I'm actually doing pretty well on my paper. I fumbled around for a while, trying to assign references, because I foolishly wrote the background section without inserting them immediately. However, the introduction and background are written and reasonably polished, I have an experimental design, and all that's really left is to outline the proposal technicalities.

All of this within the parameters requested. No papers twice the length they ought to be, no bibliography covering half the research done in the last three years. No experiment aiming to solve the mind-body problem once and for all. Generally this project is least reminiscent of dubious past undertakings, which leaves me pretty hopeful. Of course I still need to run through the requirements again with a fine tooth comb, but that's why I scheduled everything with lots of padding.

Now I break for lunch. Eventually I'll have to muster the courage to check the grade from my third test. Sunday it's back to boring old cell biology.

Yay and Woe

Friday, 28 June 2013 14:09
lea_hazel: Kermit: OMG YAY *flail* (Feel: OMGYAY)
First things first, the exam went well. And I feel good about it. Which is good.

After I got home I crawled into bed with my tablet (words I've been using with alarming frequency lately) and only just crawled back out when I felt a funny feeling in my stomach. Which turned out to be enormous hunger because I haven't eaten since seven thirty? Dammit, Ritalin!

Focus

Tuesday, 11 June 2013 12:36
lea_hazel: Neuron cell (Science: Brains)
Glad to see this project is starting to come along, finally, given that it's due in a stress-inducing week. Prioritizing and scheduling are ongoing learning curve skills, for me. Also glad to note that the Ritalin appears to be taking effect -- pretty dramatically. I still have to rally my self-control, naturally, and I still have to restrain myself from pacing, or opening tabs, or switching between articles in the middle of a sentence.

But if I try to do it, it usually works.

Follow up with the neurologist should be interesting. I've been wanting to avoid using words like "anxiety" or "agoraphobia" but it appears there's no way around it. Once again I'm thwarted by the lamentable fact that ignoring problems doesn't make them go away. Maybe next time it'll work?

If I manage my deadlines, and get my Pilates schedule back on track, and remember to eat meals... and if, and if, and if... by the end of August I'll have a degree. And I refuse to rack my brain over employment until after I've done that. I have no time to be anxious about resumes and job prospects, not until I've wrapped this degree up.

Why is everything so difficult?

At least I can say I'm making progress, even if it doesn't always look like it.

(no subject)

Tuesday, 21 May 2013 11:45
lea_hazel: Kermit: OMG YAY *flail* (Feel: OMGYAY)
I finished and handed in my homework, threw out a bunch of paper garbage, put order in some of my vital documents (mainly medical), synched my date book and filled it with scheduling deadlines... cleared two inboxes... I even exfoliated and moisturized my hands.

Feeling pretty good about myself right this second. Especially as I have more than an hour before I have to leave for class. Let's see if I can manage to hold onto this feeling for some or most or all of the day.

Smart Things

Thursday, 16 May 2013 12:31
lea_hazel: The outlook is somewhat dismal (Feel: Crash and Burn)
Smart Things I Did This Semester, Vol 11(5):

* Check the psychology library for books on GID.
* Check the sociology library for books on GID.
* Check the medicine/psychiatry library for books on GID.
* NOT check the social work library for books on GID.

SMRT.

Anywho, what matters is I'm finally making progress. Towards the part where I have to have an uncomfortable confrontation with my advising faculty member OH NOES. I mean in actuality I know it will probably be a very brief and totally cordial chat, but that's no reason not to feel anxious, amirite.

The bottom line is, I'm putting this one in the win column. Whatevs.
lea_hazel: The Little Mermaid (Science: Genetics)
Everything is fine, or will be fine, or is as close to fine as a reasoning mind can expect it to be. Everything that needs to be written or handed in will find its place. All the good ideas will be filtered in, and the dull or pointless ones will be filtered out. Accomplishments stand just as high as do slipups and outright defeats.

Everything happens for a purely retroactive reason, and that's okay, because it still brought me to where I am, and that's what matters.

I think I am going to reread some Dragon Age fanfic. Maybe later I will even try to write, but if I don't, I still got a lot of good work done today.

Positivity

Sunday, 24 February 2013 12:45
lea_hazel: Kermit: OMG YAY *flail* (Feel: OMGYAY)
It's really easy for me to cycle from positivity to negativity without intending to. Let's see what happens when I try the reverse process deliberately.

I've received my first [community profile] purimgifts fic and it is more than I could have possibly hoped for. The author took my favorite out of all the optional requests I listed and ran with it in an incredible way that never would have occurred to me. This is why fanfic exchanges exist and everyone should read it: At her feet part one of Blood and Milk. Everyone agrees that this story is amazeballs! It's not just me!

This got long and dull and self-affirming. )
lea_hazel: The Little Mermaid (Health: Sleep)
Today in neuropsychology I got an awesome compliment from a fellow student regarding a comment of mine in class a few days ago. I don't want to go into the details but I disagreed with the professor pretty strenuously and, you know, it's always hard to express vehement disagreement with an authority figure in a manner that's both assertive and respectful. This guy came over to say he agreed with me and respected the way I approached the problem and suddenly I was really proud of myself, for something that it hadn't occurred to me to feel pride over before. It was nice.

Then I went to get some prescriptions filled and that's always a pain in the ass. Moreover I have a bunch of other medical chores I need to get to, post haste. I also spoke to the pharmacist about my sleeping pills and I need to be even more careful about alcohol than I have been so far.

I was wound and cold and tired, so I played a rousing round of "let's keep this lesbian princess alive long enough that she can stare down a foreign dictator and shame him into brokering peace with the power of her regal presence" AKA my fifth Long Live the Queen victory. I saved the walkthrough along with my previous victories and I'm thinking of posting them here, backdating the entries, and then posting an index so anyone who wants can use them.
lea_hazel: The Little Mermaid (Default)
Should I post:

  • A Glitch retrospective?

  • A spoiler-free review of Long Live the Queen?

  • A spoilerrific review?

  • Which fandoms are returning in the next few weeks that I'm super psyched for?

  • All about the four projects I'm doing this semester?

  • All about the fairy/ghost/vampire story I've started working out?

  • An overview of finished and unfinished fic I wrote in 2012?

  • A spammy post full of YouTube videos?
lea_hazel: Neuron cell (Science: Brains)
I'm pretty pleased with how I met my scheduling goals this week. Not perfect by any means, especially since I obsessed a lot over Glitch in the first half of the week and then over LLTQ in the last couple of days. But, I finished all my reading in due time and I'm making progress on my end-of-semester papers. Slowly but surely.

Some parts of my brain still insist on escaping to realms of overly elaborate A/U fanfic that will never get written, but whatever.

Going off caffeine is also progressing nicely. I didn't have many headaches and I think I might be sleeping more soundly, although it's hard to tell.

Misc. Concerns

Saturday, 20 October 2012 12:43
lea_hazel: Neuron cell (Science: Brains)
I slept pretty deeply and pretty long. I wonder if I'm finally catching up all that lost sleep.

Some kid from my building is riding his bike around the lobby, humming to himself. The echo sounded kind of spooky at first...

My family did not react too well to the idea of me taking sleeping pills. Initially, I guess.

On the flipside, I talked to my sister about this research project I need to do next semester and she gave me a lot of useful advice. She even offered to help me throughout if my faculty adviser isn't helpful. Narrowing down the subject was something I was very worried about.

I'm still concerned about hammering my schedule straight, though.
lea_hazel: Kermit: OMG YAY *flail* (Feel: OMGYAY)
Who got a 92 final grade in intro to MATLAB? \o/

That's right. Natasha Romanov.

Oh. Also Bruce Banner got a 77 final grade in Emotion, which he guesses is sort of okay.

Joints

Sunday, 27 May 2012 13:45
lea_hazel: Arthritis: It does the body bad (Health: Arthritis)
I pinpointed an orientation that my right arm can't hold, while reading an article about visual perception for cognitive neuroscience. I feel unreasonably proud of this.
lea_hazel: Neuron cell (Science: Brains)
A bit more than two weeks after I bought it, I finally have a hooked up and working washing machine. As for the dryer, we're not talking about that right now. In honor of this, and of the fact that I always seem to be dwelling on lists of things I haven't done yet, here's a list of Stuff I've Done:

Read more... )

Oh hey I'm not doing too bad. I should make a habit of this.

Snugglechum

Monday, 31 October 2011 15:52
lea_hazel: I am surrounded by tiny red hearts (Feel: Love)
I had my two first classes and they were nice, and also made me feel pretty smart, which was nice also. I tried to do some chores and that was pretty tiring. I have pilates this evening and that's also pretty tiring (even to think of) but probably for the best. I've been doing a fair bit of walking too, and I think I can live with walking 30-40 minutes to campus in the morning, even if the solution that would make my walk shorter and more efficient doesn't come through.

The student union were giving away gifts and I got a snuggly blanket. The only con is that it is quite small, but also made of the most absurdly, mind-bendingly snuggly textile in existence. I dubbed it my snugglechum. I may write fanfic about it.
lea_hazel: The Little Mermaid (Health: Sleep)
Well, I got the bronchial dilators I needed from the doctor, and (to her insistence) I made an appointment for another lung capacity test. Which means I will need to go back to the pneumologist I didn't like once I have the results. Not liking doctors is a drag. At least I'm feeling a lot better and not using my inhaler every day, although I have to suspect that a decrease in anxiety is at least partially responsible.

Yom Kippur is starting in less than an hour. As usual, I'm not really sure what to do with that, except maybe write fanfic about it. Kippur is a very powerful observance that you can learn a lot from, bur applying life lessons of that magnitude is something I've only been able to do in fiction.

All heaviness aside, I'm feeling better, there's still some time before the school year starts, I have lots to read and someone wrote a fill for one of my kink meme prompts. All in all I would say my new year is starting auspiciously. Oh! And I forgot to mention while I was sick, I got in my last grade for last semester, from the seminar I worked so hard on, and it was definitely satisfactory. And I took another look at my overall curriculum, and I think it might be possible for me to finish this degree in three and a half years instead of four.
lea_hazel: The Little Mermaid (Science: Genetics)
I had my last genetics lab of the semester today. Yesterday and the day before I finished ym two end-of-semester projects, so that all that's left is to present them. I can really feel the semester wrapping up. Time for exams and chores, huh? Damn I have a lot of chores.

In unrelated news, I'm watching Puella Magi Madoka Magica. I appear to have gone into a phase where I accumulate new fandoms at an alarming speed. It's like I have no checkpoint on the transition between the G2 and M phases of fandom division. Um. In this analogy, the G2 phase would check, not if the DNA in complete and intact, but if it's advisable to acquire a new fandom at this point. Wait, maybe that would be the G1/S checkpoint?

Why am I even pursuing this line of thought?
lea_hazel: A frowning white theater mask (Feel: Sad Face :()
I am Frustrated, with a capital F.

I picked up my new computer today, got it home (with some help) and put it together. Then I realized that they guy who assembled my computer, who put in 4 GB of RAM and a 400 shekel video card, forgot to give me a power cord. By the time I finished waffling I was pretty sure I couldn't make it back to the store on time to get a new one for tonight.

So I have a fancy pants computer and a free and clear evening, which I had planned to use to set up all the little thingamajigs that make a comfortable computer experience, and I can't even turn it on.

No way am I letting this ruin my mood, though. I've been in such a good mood almost all week. In fact I've been downright cheerful. This is not what one might call a common experience for me. I was head of all my schoolwork, I was on top of almost all my chores, and I was supposed to have a brand new computer waaaah and the weather is turning up. And the rest of the semester should be relatively breezy.

And there are holidays coming up, and a Friday the 13th that I want to do something about.

Everything is fine. I'm just frustrated.
lea_hazel: Typewriter (Basic: Writing)
Why are the internets collapsing? LJ is down so I can't access [livejournal.com profile] captchalogue or [livejournal.com profile] homestuck1000, and Twitter is now down too. I'm almost afraid to check Facebook.

In school news, my group (actually a pair) managed to get a grip on our experimental psychology assignments, which were proving to be an enormous pain in the general rear vicinity.

In writing news, [community profile] junetide! So many delicious prompts. Mine were pretty cracky and I suspect someone who knows me moderately well could guess them easily. But, that's not the point of the challenge, and then again neither is hiding my identity? I guess? Anyway, it will all be super cool and there are some really creative people on board. Plus I've already encountered about five things I forgot/had no idea I might want to request. Like this.

In food news, I want to make a post about ptitim because I just made some. They came out not like my mother's and I'm not sure how I feel about that. Also they are a weird Israeli thing.

Anyway, I need like a mini-program, an HTML page or something, that can take a list of names and compute all possible pairings out of them. That way I can turn my desire to write every Homestuck femmeslash pairing from a cracktastic dream into potential reality. Except this fandom has the only femmeslash pairing ever that I might not be able to bring myself to write. Dammit LJ, grar rar, I need my anonymous prompt memes!

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