Laughter Through Tears

Lackington's magazine is open for short fiction submissions on the theme of "cocktails" and I've been struggling with a desire to write a story, without being able to pin down what idea I should develop. Today, this evening, in fact, just this moment, I finally figured out what I want to do. I'm borrowing a worldbuilding concept from a comatose novel seed that's been dormant in my head for maybe eight years or so. Better still, it comes with its own built-in metaphor, which also drags along behind it a great core concept for the narrator character.

Ideas are coming together. I'll sit down and put down a draft tomorrow, after I handle some morning chores. That'll definitely make me feel better about the lingering cold that kept me in bed for so long.

I did things today. I did things yesterday and on Sunday, although it didn't really feel like it at the time.

I have three pending submissions logged on the Submission Grinder.

And the first magazine to ever publish my work professionally is available for purchase as a paperback. I have my own backer copy of course.

(I will be okay, eventually.)

My work agenda is getting complicated. For one thing, I want to finish my editing, proofing, changes and additions to my route on BookSLEEPer so I can pass it on to the rest of the team, finalized. I have some story drafts laying around gathering dust, which I need to decide what to do with and/or where to submit. I've started putting together an outline for another game, in Twine form, and it's looking good but still needs a lot of work before I can treat it as proof of concept. I still need to get Wreath of Roses to an editor, too, and I have a short story critique I need to make a decision on.

Then there's all the books and games that need reviewing.

All in all, though, having a lot of work to do is actually a good sign. I just need to keep reminding myself of this.

It helps me think. But there always seems to be too damn much going on, and I always seem to be criminally behind on something.

I took my one and only exam for the semester and it went remarkably well. I am cautiously optimistic about my grade, which I won't find out for a while yet. My next semester starts in late March, a little more than two weeks from now. Much more intimidating, because it's one of the more notorious branches of mathematics. It's a CS requirement, though, and I think a face-to-face class will force me to pay more attention to the lectures, compared to sitting on my sofa and watching the lecture through the computer. Still, it's another shot for my "get ahead of the material in case you fall behind later" plan, which has never yet quite succeeded as intended.

Work-wise I have deadlines and more responsibilities and I'm sitting with the rest of my team instead of in a separate cubicle, so there's progress there. I work hard to get in enough hours a month, not only to stay on top of my workload but also because I get paid by the hour. Working in an office is still a struggle because at a certain point the fluorescent lights and over-exposure to smells etc. starts to wear me down. Bug generally I'm keeping up and getting good feedback.

Writing is exciting. I submitted a short story today. I've been trying to put it together from an idea that surfaced unexpectedly, part-way into outlining a totally different piece for the same deadline. That other piece is partly drafted but still languishing. I also have a rejected piece that I need to decide whether/to whom to submit next. In game writing I did FFS Jam and it was pretty great, but ow I'm losing momentum in the journey to polish the alpha to perfection. And now March is starting and I'm on a team doing NaNoRenO.

More on that last part, probably tomorrow.

I have to remember that writing down everything I'm doing not only reminds me of everything I'm behind on, but also everything I've accomplished. When I describe my life to other people, it sounds a lot better than it does in my head.

I have a couple of short blog posts queued for this week and next. No big, substantive reviews. Part of me still wants to get that aromantic post out of my system but I'm not sure how well I'd weather the process. Meanwhile I have been playing a lot of 7KPP and Affairs of the Court, which I probably still should review, at some point.

Other things in my tabs: Why Being a Writer is an Exercise in Cognitive Dissonance from Kameron Hurley's blog (via Goodreads). Coffintree Hill has a whole bunch of magazines and anthologies calls for submissions. I have been reading a fair amount of Asexual Agenda posts and links, lately.

Soon I will have a cellphone again.

Progress today: I determined that the soul story is capital-b Broken and needs to be set aside indefinitely. I selected two magazines to submit my existing finished stories to. I found an anthology with a deadline that has a prompt that might interest me, to write a new story for.

Not from tonight, but also important: I have a pretty solid lead on an ending for one of my other unfinished stories.

Last night was sort of the pits of the funk I've been in lately. I talked it out with someone and I feel a little more optimistic. It's the feeling of being trapped into a course of action that gets me down more than anything else. fortunately with enough forethought and creativity I can usually come up with an alternative. And so that's what I'm trying to do now.

Yesterday was also the deadline for Strange Horizons' special queer issue. To which I did not submit a story, as a cause and consequence of the funk I mentioned. I did write yesterday, though, and something I am fairly pleased with. And this morning I drafted my next blog post, the one about writing disability that I've been mulling over for so long. I dread the possibility that it will expand into a series of posts.

Now I have a short break in the workshop which hopefully will allow me to catch my breath a little. And there's Olamot over Passover which is OMG! SO SOON!

Last week there was no blogging and very little writing, due mostly to real-life considerations. November has not launched well, but there is still time to change that. To that end, I've decided to submit my review of Uprooted (Dreamwidth link here) to a non-fiction anthology. Crossing fingers and toes and all that.

In the mean time, I am still looking at all sorts of possible avenues for publication, while at the same time waiting to hear back on an interview for a tech job. And classes. And a writing workshop.

...and Sunless Sea.

On an unrelated note, I am looking at WordPress crossposting plugins, so if you use one, I'd love to hear about it.

The Speculative Fiction 2015 anthology is accepting submissions for non-fiction published in 2015.

I am very definitely going to submit blog posts from hazelgold.net.

What I am struggling with is knowing which pieces to submit.

( Way too many considerations. )

Looking forward, I want to revisit some subjects from older posts I did, specifically "women abusing power" and "the gay elf books". I feel like I ought to do a proper review on the latter. Especially since I'm rereading the second one right now.

This week has been pretty trying, though. And next week shapes up to be even more so.