Laughter Through Tears

There's nothing quite like the disappointment one feels when a perfectly acceptable porn fic takes a plunge and starts casting about misogynistic slurs.

Now I have a sad. ;_;

Tonight: Wrote ~200 words and introduced a new fandom buddy to a new fandom. \o/

Writing a fic formatted as a journal is hard but kind of awesome. It gives me permission to do all sorts of things I don't normally do, and makes it pretty clear to the reader that the narrator is unreliable. Also in this case kind of a douche.

I wonder if in the time between the Imriel trilogy and the Moirin trilogy, people other than me blogged about how Jacqueline Carey desperately needed to buy a good lesbian sex manual.

Because I'm pretty sure she did just that.

And it improves her books by eleventy billion percent, at least.

Maybe she read some fanfic? I mean, I haven't really seen the fandom rush in to make up for the unnecessary vagueness of the Phedre/Melisande and other f/f scenes, but it's hard to imagine it isn't out there. If ever there was a fandom crying out for a strong femslash scene, for serious.

Should I allow myself to get subsumed in emotion today, and work on my class assignments tomorrow, or the other way around?

Yes, I am still wading in the miasma of uncontrollable erupting feelings that this spring has decided to land on me. No, I don't know how or why. Yes, I am trying to find a more long-term solution for the matter, but it is hard.

Last night I went out to a "lights show" with my brother, but it was sort of a disaster. I had a big panic attack.

I wish my grades more often reflected my level of interest in the material I learned. Sometimes they do, but not enough. Especially this semester, when I basically loved almost all my classes, but I feel like outside factors got in the way and I won't score very well. Sometimes I feel judged by vague external forces with no name. I guess that's an anxiety thing.

Earlier this week, my knee got fucked up right before pilates. The second half of the week I was kind of a mess and that makes buses and trains complicated because I have to sit diagonally. My knee won't go to ninety degrees when it's pretty badly off. This also triggers the "everyone is silently judging me" reaction.

Video games and comics have decided to be ass this week, and I can't really deal with it but I will feel cowardly if I ignore it. The Lara Croft things especially brings up a lot of crap that I seriously don't know how to process at this juncture. Ugh everyone please stop this forever, haven't we already been through this dance enough times?

I think I figured out why I don't want to romance Alistair on DAO. Too bad it's an explosive meta post full of emotional overflow and connecting all sorts of things that probably shouldn't be connected.

My brain is giving me headaches. I don't know why I always insist on trying to weave everything in the world into a giant web of making perfect sense. It's completely ridiculous.

I have a question about Dragon Age fandom. I mean, I could wade right in, but I'm at Denerim right now and I already have more of an idea of what to expect in the future than I'd like.

( I base my questions on my experiences in other fandoms. )

The needs must post is a brilliant idea and I've already gotten a bunch of useful responses. :D I only wish I'd managed to help someone else, but that's not yet happened.

I'm back to classes today after Passover. Yesterday I did most of my holiday work, which I had been planning on getting out of the way early HAHAHAHA OF COURSE. Then I ordered pizza for dinner. :D Anyway school's boring I don't want to talk about that. I especially don't want to talk about being forced to buy an amazingly expensive textbook in order to avoid logistical entanglements with the library's awfully strict lending policy. But, I promised myself I'd be good about doing the reading this semester.

I want to write about DAO and strategy, but it looks like I'm running out of time before I have to leave for class, so maybe I should wait so I can make the post as long as I want.

Funny, I got sucked into DAO so fast and so hard, I forgot to write anything about "the Dragon*Con book", the post-apocalyptic novel that I finished reading, finally, on the way back from the Pesach con.

Looks like I have a lot to write about.

So I hear some Hunger Games fans have gone all Blaise Zabini on the fandom's ass after watching the film.

How fucking depressing.

Anyway I totally want to watch the movie because it sounds fluffy and fun. I do have that damn neuro lab tomorrow, though, so I don't know if I'll have the energy to go out on Thursday night. Bluh. Tomorrow will be bad, I have ten straight hours of class with only one free period. Also I cooked food for the whole week but it's already almost run out, I have to do some cooking tonight or something. Which means I have to stop for groceries on the way back from the library.

And I will apparently need to buy the Cognitive Neuroscience book, because checking it out from the library every time I need it simply won't work.

So I should mention that my brother and I got the primer for the new DC Comics universe. I had a whole bunch of feelings about a lot of things and I still have a lot of conflicting feelings. Mainly we both felt that it was nice to be excited for new comics, for a change, since our subscriptions were getting stale and I was constantly falling behind due to not being interested enough in anything. I mean, we'll never go back to the days when I was just getting into comics and I read every issue between 3 and 5 times a month, but it's still nice to be actively looking forward to something.

One of the problems with (US, superhero, mainstream) comics fandom is that it is deeply exhausting. After we made the decision to drop a bunch of titles and subscribe to five of the DCnU ones, I started checking out some websites and blogs that I haven't checked in years. subscribing to things on Twitter, reading scans_daily posts and the like. This reminded me why I burned out on all of those things and retreated to quieter, more fun grounds.

A lot of the new titles look just as bad and just as inaccessible as they were before, meaning there's no point trying to get invested in Batman or Green Lantern, because it's just the same old drek. Supergirl and Wonder Woman both looked like they might be good, but more in a wait-for-the-trade way. We both immediately knew we wanted Blue Beetle, because we loved the previous run, which we own in TPB. Its only flaw was the dense, incomprehensible origin, and that seems to have been done away with.

Aside from BB, we're getting Justice League (which my brother is very interested in), Justice League Dark, and Superboy. The latter was a late addition based on a preview that looked very exciting. ETA: Haha I forgot Animal Man. We're also getting that and it's pretty exciting.

Cable is running the second season of The Vampire Diaries, I caught a few episodes, and I ended up quite liking it. I'm thinking of watching from the start instead of relying on the TV, which only provides one episode a week (an utterly unacceptable rate at which to watch TV, I'm sure you'll agree). Then I remembered some people saying the beginning of the show was weak and it took a while to hit its stride.

So I am turning to the infallible wisdom of the internet: Should I watch from the beginning, skip straight to season 2, or just watch a select few episodes of season 1?

ETA: Less than five minutes into the first episode: please stop hitting people with cars.