Work vs. Play
Friday, 15 June 2012 09:19![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lea_hazelShould I allow myself to get subsumed in emotion today, and work on my class assignments tomorrow, or the other way around?
Yes, I am still wading in the miasma of uncontrollable erupting feelings that this spring has decided to land on me. No, I don't know how or why. Yes, I am trying to find a more long-term solution for the matter, but it is hard.
Last night I went out to a "lights show" with my brother, but it was sort of a disaster. I had a big panic attack.
I wish my grades more often reflected my level of interest in the material I learned. Sometimes they do, but not enough. Especially this semester, when I basically loved almost all my classes, but I feel like outside factors got in the way and I won't score very well. Sometimes I feel judged by vague external forces with no name. I guess that's an anxiety thing.
Earlier this week, my knee got fucked up right before pilates. The second half of the week I was kind of a mess and that makes buses and trains complicated because I have to sit diagonally. My knee won't go to ninety degrees when it's pretty badly off. This also triggers the "everyone is silently judging me" reaction.
Video games and comics have decided to be ass this week, and I can't really deal with it but I will feel cowardly if I ignore it. The Lara Croft things especially brings up a lot of crap that I seriously don't know how to process at this juncture. Ugh everyone please stop this forever, haven't we already been through this dance enough times?
Yes, I am still wading in the miasma of uncontrollable erupting feelings that this spring has decided to land on me. No, I don't know how or why. Yes, I am trying to find a more long-term solution for the matter, but it is hard.
Last night I went out to a "lights show" with my brother, but it was sort of a disaster. I had a big panic attack.
I wish my grades more often reflected my level of interest in the material I learned. Sometimes they do, but not enough. Especially this semester, when I basically loved almost all my classes, but I feel like outside factors got in the way and I won't score very well. Sometimes I feel judged by vague external forces with no name. I guess that's an anxiety thing.
Earlier this week, my knee got fucked up right before pilates. The second half of the week I was kind of a mess and that makes buses and trains complicated because I have to sit diagonally. My knee won't go to ninety degrees when it's pretty badly off. This also triggers the "everyone is silently judging me" reaction.
Video games and comics have decided to be ass this week, and I can't really deal with it but I will feel cowardly if I ignore it. The Lara Croft things especially brings up a lot of crap that I seriously don't know how to process at this juncture. Ugh everyone please stop this forever, haven't we already been through this dance enough times?
