Jan. 1st, 2020 08:00 am
lea_hazel: The Little Mermaid (Default)
Drop me a line about anything here.
lea_hazel: The Little Mermaid (Default)
I made a very firm rule yesterday that I am not allowed to spend all of today -- all of the holiday weekend -- waffling on Tumblr and playing games and watching TV and generally wasting time. By the end of the month I'm (probably) going to be unemployed, and I have writing commitments that I'd just as soon rather not put off to the last possible moment (like I normally do). And I want to write, I swear I do!

...It's just so hard to get started doing anything. Especially when I don't even want to put on pants.


May. 11th, 2015 09:09 pm
lea_hazel: The outlook is somewhat dismal (Feel: Crash and Burn)
I had the most amazing migraine today. Just like a nuclear migraine or something.

I swear I will post something fun soon, I have a lot to post about. But this week is only two days old and already killing me.
lea_hazel: The Little Mermaid (Default)
So, I am flying to a friend's wedding. I did all the arrangements last minute because I was half-convinced I'd be unemployed by now. My flight is late tonight, lands there early Friday morning. Meanwhile I am trying to stick to my lists and focus on the fact that I can live without virtually everything. This is my go-to strategy for situations where forgetting something is virtually guaranteed.
lea_hazel: The outlook is somewhat dismal (Feel: Crash and Burn)
I fly to the US on Thursday night (yes, I know that's the first time I've mentioned it on this blog). I booked what needed booking, described to my mother as "a tour of New York's airports", borrowed a suitcase, planned what clothes to take, started carefully scheduling the laundry cycles... and today I went bra-shopping.

Body talk, I guess )

Anyway, Age of Ultron was frothy but satisfying like a very artificial-tasting milkshake. My brother was naturally more forgiving of it than I was. Some issues I didn't bother bringing up, but I had to mention that the Wanda/Pietro storyline could be lifted right out of the movie with almost no impact. Natasha got an origin, apparently in lieu of actually getting a solo film like the boys. Wanda, though, felt pretty vacant to me.

Whedon's thing with emotionally-damaged brunettes again, I suppose. Or maybe I am being too harsh.
lea_hazel: Typewriter (Basic: Writing)
Shits about to get real with my [community profile] jukebox_fest assignment. Original fic real.

The 100

Apr. 17th, 2015 08:57 pm
lea_hazel: I am surrounded by tiny red hearts (Feel: Love)
Look, I'm sick and I have therapy and travel plans and money issues and chores, but I just came in here to say that The 100 is officially now the show I didn't think I deserved. Like, I must have done something right in a past life to have gotten this show.
lea_hazel: Kermit: OMG YAY *flail* (Feel: OMGYAY)
Dear [community profile] jukebox_fest gifter!

Read more... )

You are not obliged to hold up any part of this except the DNW part way at the beginning.

The 100

Apr. 14th, 2015 07:09 pm
lea_hazel: I am surrounded by tiny red hearts (Feel: Love)
This fucking show. I cannot.

I Live

Apr. 13th, 2015 06:20 pm
lea_hazel: The outlook is somewhat dismal (Feel: Crash and Burn)
Let today the thirteenth of April be forever commemorated as the day on which I was not vanquished by a migraine.


Apr. 6th, 2015 10:35 am
lea_hazel: Arthritis: It does the body bad (Health: Arthritis)
My head hurts because I didn't sleep enough (thanks Obama Skyrim) and my eyes hurt because I did an eye exam. Not an EOG, one of the ones with no electrodes. But still, like half an hour of flashing lights and my eyes tearing up. I want to rest my eyes, but I don't want to sleep because it'll prevent me from resetting my night sleep to a semi-reasonable manageable time-frame.

The problem is, literally every source of entertainment I use involves white light screens and eye strain. Goddamn.

For some reason, eye exams tend to put me in a bizarre frame of mind. Weird emotional stuff. )

Anyway, embodiment issues.

I have the whole week off and I was planning on doing some social stuff and whole hell of a lot of writing. I may twine a bit. I... also may write a meta piece about Skyrim. Which I would then post here, and not on Tumblr. I'm not gonna lock it, but I'd probably want it to be linked either selectively or not at all. The last thing I want is to open a meta essay with "rules of engagement" so to speak, but I'm fraught and my energy for conflict is nonexistent.

Anyway, Passover, yeah. Favorite holiday. Best time of year. Totally worth the lack of bread, and ~50% of my other favorite foods.

I'm gonna go lie down before I hurt myself.

A Game

Apr. 1st, 2015 10:12 pm
lea_hazel: The Little Mermaid (Default)
Let's play a game called, "How far back in my AO3 can I go before I hit a story that utterly appalls me?"
lea_hazel: The outlook is somewhat dismal (Feel: Crash and Burn)
So the doctor said, "I think it's probably migraines, so here, go see a neurologist." He mentioned that a neuro might possibly want to do x-rays or a CT. But I am kind of glad just to know that it sounds like migraines to someone other than myself.

On the other hand, I completely forgot to mention the cold/virus/something I had for half of last week.

I should write. I know that writing will make me feel better. I know I will feel accomplished. It will help my emotional balance and it will be fun. Good, productive-like fun. I just... need to kickstart it somehow.
lea_hazel: Don't make me look up from my book (Basic: Reading)
One of the baffling and endlessly fascinating phenomena in pop culture is how devoted fans can become, not to a show or book, but to the ideology presented within. Even if said ideology is vague or formulaic, to the point where the preoccupation is pretty clearly with the thing in itself (as opposed to its philosophical implications). People list their religion as "Jedi" all the time, and not just as an in-joke. Despite that the Jedi order stands for such ultra-specific ideas (TV Tropes link) as "justice is good and tyranny is bad".

At this point in my fannish life, it's become pretty clear to me that, whatever capacity I might have had as a kid, I can't take this attitude seriously at all. Maybe my approach is just too aggressively Doylist (Fanlore link). I automatically default to thinking, "Why do the creators want so badly for me to believe in this thing?" I can't quite take it at face value. Morally-grey works become hard to stomach... because they're almost never as "grey" as their creators think. Authors are constantly subtly (or unsubtly) nudging their readers towards a certain belief, or conviction, or POV.

It makes certain fandom discussions uncomfortably interesting. And it makes playing RPGs very interesting. Over something like three years in Dragon Age fandom, I have completely failed to become a Fereldan nationalist. And I've developed an outright hostility towards Andraste (the Jean d'Arc/lady Jesus prophet of the game's fictional church). Why? Because I can.

But that's a different issue altogether, I suppose. Whatever game-makers (and show-makers, and writers) expect of their audience usually has very specific cultural undertones. Sadly, these are undertones of which they are overwhelmingly unaware. Mostly they seem to think that the philosophical and cultural underpinnings of their work are universally applicable to the human experience. People who were raised in a Christian secular society seem to have a really hard time with the idea that Jews don't believe in Jesus.

But I don't believe in Jesus. Even if I believed in God, and practiced the religion of my parents and grandparents, I still wouldn't believe in Jesus. And because Jesus and Christianity are beyond pervasive in mass media popular culture... given a chance to do so, I'm going to choose not to believe in space Jesus.
lea_hazel: The Little Mermaid (Default)
The less said about the elections, the better. Suffice to say, Wednesday morning was rough, not just because of the inexplicable URT infection I've been nursing. I've decided the only cure is video game political assassinations. Plural, if possible.

Meanwhile, I'm keeping up with being sick. Drinking lots of orange juice and tea with honey. Sleeping a lot. Got a doctor's appointment, which will be extremely helpful because doctors can do a lot to treat (probably) viral infections. Making a conscious decision not to think about work until I have to. Also putting off thinking about contracts and deadlines and ugh.

I'm debating between making a post about Skyrim and making a post about family legends.
lea_hazel: Neuron cell (Basic: Science)
I swept the floor in both rooms (without going into weird fits about reaching lots of tiny corners. much). I cleaned the kitchen sink and the bathroom. I cleared lots of paperwork that needed clearing and paid utilities. I really want to mp the floor (rather, I really want the floor to be in a state of having been mopped) but I am tired.

Later I can also change the linen and probably cycle a color laundry. Oh, and I washed the dishes too but that's obvious because I needed to do t to clean the sink.

And I wrote.

Part of the reason for the hygiene frenzy is that lots of dust had gathered under my bed. Another part of the reason is cut for invertebrates )

I've only been wearing that skirt since I was about twenty three. I more than got its worth out of it. I just. I will never again have a skirt quite that perfect. Quietly mourning my pleated skirt.


Mar. 10th, 2015 07:30 pm
lea_hazel: Arthritis: It does the body bad (Health: Arthritis)
Still kind of crashed from yesterday, TBH.

Read more... )


Mar. 7th, 2015 10:50 pm
lea_hazel: Neuron cell (Science: Brains)
So this pretty much wraps up Purim. I nominally dressed up as Red Riding Hood but it's not terribly convincing because it's the sort of outfit I'd wear on an average summer day to work. I had some 70% fig liquor and should probably have had about half as much as I did. I did get plenty of snacks (pretzels, potato chips and popcorn) so I'm not really worried about headaches and the like. I am taking a water bottle and a granola bar to bed with me, though.

[community profile] purimgifts was awesome as ever and, par for the course, gifted me with a deluge of positive feedback far above what I can usually expect. Which is delightful.

I received three Root/Shaw fics for Person of Interest and they were charming and perfectly in-character, not to mention just the thing for a week with no episode: Chai and conversation (featuring Shaw and Persian cuisine), Polish (featuring Root and Halloween), and Day in the Life (which is kind of a meta summation of the Root/Shaw ship, in my eyes).

I wrote four fics. My gifts were a series of Agent Carter/Miss Fisher crossover bits, filed under How We Won the War. Then I wrote a rapid, last-minute treat: The Katabasis of Queen Esther, in which Esther and Vashti reenact Inanna's descent into the underworld. Also Tarot. I piled on some extra crack on top of that, too, because apparently that's how my brain plots on Saturday mornings.

Now i am strongly tempted to utilize my intoxication to write fic, but instead I will be an adult and go to bed early(ish). Because work tomorrow.


Mar. 6th, 2015 04:29 pm
lea_hazel: Kermit: OMG YAY *flail* (Feel: OMGYAY)
Celebrating the holiday by marathoning the fourth season of Once Upon a Time. And [community profile] purimgifts of course. I got a wonderful Root/Shaw gift which delights me to no end. I'm actually pretty pleased with the gifts I wrote, too, even though I wrote them under enormous stress and a massive time crunch. Work being super intense didn't help.

When I get home, I'll probably sink into writing angstless, stress-free smutlets.
lea_hazel: Don't make me look up from my book (Basic: Reading)
Looking back at all the years of my blog which were dominated almost completely by uni stuff and I can't help but thinking that I just sort of flushed all those years away. For nothing. For no good reason. A friend told me once that I would stop thinking (eventually) that my twenties were the decade I had to pay back for my teens. I really hope that's true.


lea_hazel: The Little Mermaid (Default)

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