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Jan. 1st, 2020 08:00 am
lea_hazel: The Little Mermaid (Default)
Drop me a line about anything here.
lea_hazel: Kermit: OMG YAY *flail* (Feel: OMGYAY)
I'm flying out to Dragon*Con in a couple of hours. I really wanted to write a serious blog post before I left, but there was too much going on. I'll have my tablet with me so probably no posting at all because of awkward typing. So I guess I'll be back in a week plus. Don't burn anything down while I'm gone.

:/

Aug. 26th, 2014 08:21 pm
lea_hazel: The Little Mermaid (Default)
I don't want to keep packing because I'm tired, but if I don't pack I won't be going to Dragon*Con.

I mean. I will still go to Dragon*Con obviously. But I will have to change my plans substantially and it will add certain unnecessary complications. I think. Or maybe this way would actually be easier? I can't really tell anymore.

Bluh.

Anyway, I'm not all that exhausted that I can't go down to the pharmacy to buy a plastic bottle for my shampoo. Or cycle a laundry, or shower and wash my hair. It's only that sitting and staring at a screen out of inertia is lots easier.
lea_hazel: The outlook is somewhat dismal (Feel: Crash and Burn)
I will never learn not to read the comments.
lea_hazel: The outlook is somewhat dismal (Feel: Crash and Burn)
I just had a weird episode of the Saturday Afternoon Feels Tornado. Really weird and random, I have not had one of those in simply ages. then I did something reckless and searched for the Groot tag on AO3. Then I did something mind-bogglingly stupid and went into the Groot/Rocket tag to check the ratings distribution. It was... not too alarming? By fandom standards? Or maybe just by Homestuck fandom standards. Ah, Homestuck. You'll always be... Homestuck.

Fork.

"more is learned about flora colossus reproduction than is desirable" AHAHAHAHA THIS REALLY IS LIKE HOMESTUCK ALL OVER AGAIN OH FANDOM *TEARWIPE*

Anyway I'm having feelings and I owe [personal profile] marina a post about Unrest which, yes, [personal profile] lynnoconnacht may also be interested in.

I put in a laundry and swept the bedroom floor and fetched a suitcase to pack for Dragon*Con in so as far as I'm concerned I have won at adulting.
lea_hazel: The outlook is somewhat dismal (Feel: Crash and Burn)
Apparently that's what they call it when you're sick with some shit you can't do anything about except "fluids and rest". Ugh. I don't even want to go to a doctor because it's not of any use, except I probably have to because of sick leave. Bluh. I've only just gone to a doctor to pick up prescriptions on Tuesday. And I told myself, maybe I should ask her about the fatigue and the backache and all. But then I didn't.

Yesterday I had to go in because of some things that needed doing that no one else can do. Figures the only time I have actual work to do is when I can hardly get myself out of bed in the morning. I slept most of yesterday afternoon and slept until after ten this morning. I let my alarm go, because I thought I might wake up feeling better and go in, which would be simpler all in all. But instead I felt like crap? So I slept another four hours and then took a long hot shower.

And, uh, did a laundry or two and cleaned the kitchen counter. And now I'm cooking lunch/supper because I have food in the house that I'd meant to cook days if not weeks ago, but I've been awful instead. Even though I know having cooked food in the house makes my quality of life immeasurably higher. I even dropped in some fresh mushrooms, before they get limp like the carrots I had planned to cook with on, oh, Friday?

There was some other thing that I wanted to write before I went to check on my dinnerlunchmeal. Whatever. If it's important, it'll come to me later.
lea_hazel: Neuron cell (Science: Brains)
I am trying to both write and feel good about things.

Things I am doing: morning words on 750words have treated me pretty well. stack Exchange has also been pretty good to me, especially writes.SE. Actual words on paper have not gone well, but I've been trying to put together plots and thinking about meta and characterization. I want to know how far I can stretch a character like Aya, who has no canonical backstory. I might have to cave and make a canon for her, IDK.

Staying with my sister went surprisingly okay. I have also succeeded in meeting a friend after work, so that's three evenings this week that I spent with company, rather than sitting in my living room. Paging through Tumblr and playing Sunless Sea. And not writing. Yesterday I worked the morning, which was a bit annoying. Next Friday is family birthday, and the one after that is friend birthday.

And the Friday following is Dragon*Con OMG.

During free hours at work, I've been studying up on HTML 5 canvas element, trying to make a dynamically generated family tree. Between JavaScript and DOM, I've succeeded in creating an interface that allows adding named nodes and creating edges between them. If I backed it with Rails and MySQL I bet I could produce a half-decent shipping chart generator.

Games I need to review on Dreamwidth, because I have too much to say for Tumblr to be sufficient: Sunless Sea, Unrest, Broken Age. Meta essays I need to write: magic, power and nobility in secondary world fantasy.

Le sign.

Aug. 4th, 2014 06:03 pm
lea_hazel: The outlook is somewhat dismal (Feel: Crash and Burn)
The plumbing crisis is supposedly over, but while the last of it is being fixed I'm staying at my sister's so I can spend my evenings somewhere pleasanter.

Onwards

Jul. 29th, 2014 06:17 pm
lea_hazel: Don't make me look up from my book (Basic: Reading)
Contrary to my crappy mood of the last few days, right now I feel pretty great. I was upbeat and energetic when leaving work (a little agitated maybe) and when I got in I took a shower. Which is a fool-proof mood improver. I think it may be time to pick up the slack on some things I'd let slide (out of pure nonsensical angst).

It might be over-ambitious to want to write today. Elevating expectations beyond what is generally reasonable has been a downfall for me in the past. I do have to take care of some smaller/simpler/more urgent things - making sure I have scripts that aren't expired, and other end-of-month chores, plus replying to emails/messages and maybe a few other things that have slipped my mind.

This morning I tried doing my morning pages in Hebrew. It took 40 minutes - double the usual. I do not find this to be an encouraging sign.
lea_hazel: The outlook is somewhat dismal (Feel: Crash and Burn)
My living space is awful now and I need to think of contingencies, which is extra difficult because it's hard for me to think in a messed up living space. Also I'm spitting mad at my landlord and also the world.

I spent hours today playing The Sims 2 and not even really enjoying it very much. Really finding it hard to attach my mind to a positive constant. It would be nice to have a smoke gene scroll on Flight Rising, is what I'm saying.

Eating is extra hard because the leak situation is centered in the kitchen corner and not exactly encouraging me to think positively of food (which I have).
lea_hazel: The outlook is somewhat dismal (Feel: Crash and Burn)
Get home from a dentist's appointment to find a large puddle of murky water on your kitchen floor where the pipe your landlord "fixed" is.

In an hour and twnty minutes I got a new game downloading, and when that happens, fuck reality.
lea_hazel: Typewriter (Basic: Writing)
Things aren't hectic at work (ha!) and I have some extra time on my hands. I've been pouring some of that extra time into 750words.com. I'd heard about the site and the idea of "daily pages" more than once, but I guess I just thought finding the time to do it would be too much of a hassle. Actually, setting the time aside has been pretty good. I've been considering trying on a stricter morning routine, since morning is when I tend to lose a lot of minutes that add up into major time chunks.

I write a bit the same way as the journal entries here, except even less filtered. (I don't filter much here, but I obfuscate a bit.) Things being what they are, it's a convenient outlet for extraneous stress. Loud sudden noises and whatnot. This morning I strayed a bit and actually did some on-paper outlining. Which naturally meant more progress than "brainstorming" mentally on the bus. Really I need to get over writing habits which I know don't work. I believe I am still one character short of a complete cast, but the plot is coalescing. Oooh, plot! *scary noises*

Between that and completing a few too-long-delayed chores, I feel pretty good. I'd still like to have a sofa so that I can stream shows on my desktop and watch them while flopped on something soft instead of sitting up. Sitting up is a sucker's game.
lea_hazel: The outlook is somewhat dismal (Feel: Crash and Burn)
Today's siren caught me just as I was about to leave work.

I still have this vague feeling that maybe I'm not as anxious as I should be? But then I remember the random muscle cramps and the general lack of restfulness of my sleep.

New dr. sent me for blood tests which I have been putting off. Most of the same stuff I usually get tested for (perennial vitamin D and TSH) but without some of the inflammatory factors. So far I'm pretty pleased with new Dr. although it is a little soon to tell. I am also thinking about other health practitioners and whether I might want to seek them out.

My coping mechanism is refreshing the Flight Rising marketplace over and over, waiting for my smoke tert scroll to show up. And dwelling on things I did successfully. That one's a fun new addition.

Adulting

Jul. 12th, 2014 09:13 pm
lea_hazel: Kermit: OMG YAY *flail* (Feel: OMGYAY)
Folded the clean white laundry; put in a load of colors to wash; ate several really pretty sensible meals; got dressed and got out of the house; did a little mental health reading; unboxed my printer, still need to find a power cable that fits; wrote a little; did stretches.

Still need to turn off the computer to hook it up to the emergency power outage thingum. I think that's where the printer's power cord went. Also blood tests and some paperwork to do with the utility bills. And I need to go up to Jerusalem some time this week and figure some shit out, but IDK, that's less urgent?

Routine

Jul. 11th, 2014 12:25 am
lea_hazel: A frowning white theater mask (Feel: Sad Face :()
I mean, I guess I'm anxious? How do I separate the anxiety about the booms from anxiety about my job, or the agoraphobia, or the roaches that I still freak out over all the time? But yeah, I guess I am anxious.

Tomorrow I get to play The Friday Morning Game, a terrible game which I always seem to lose at.

I'm choosing to view all my unfinished stories as a wealth of creativity to entertain myself with during idle moments, as opposed to a pile of uncompleted tasks. Because fanfic is a leisure activity.

Yup.

Jul. 8th, 2014 07:30 pm
lea_hazel: Neuron cell (Science: Brains)
So the alarm sounded while I was walking home from the bus station and I didn't hear it because I was listening to Yehudit Ravitz. When I walked in all my neighbors were in the stairwell giving me weird looks.

Little Woes

Jul. 7th, 2014 05:53 pm
lea_hazel: The outlook is somewhat dismal (Feel: Crash and Burn)
Earlier today I had an idea but I didn't write it down and now it's gone. Also I've been angsting about fandom and politics.

Then I came home and very gratefully received the aid of a well-meaning person in getting my washing machine operational. Well-meaning individual left after determining that the machine worked, and some ten minutes later the dirty water from the short cycle started draining onto my floor. Did I mention that I don't have a new desk yet? The computer chassis was on the floor. Commence emergency mopping.

Now I'm watching the machine with hawk-eyes and once I've ruled it fit for active duty I'm going to commence emergency mopping on myself.
lea_hazel: I am surrounded by tiny red hearts (Feel: Love)
As a responsible resident it is my duty to patronize coffee shops on the weekend, and so this morning I treated myself to a nice brunch. Then I cleaned the apartment thoroughly and consequently came to three conclusions:

  1. That I need to clean more often.

  2. That I really need to sweep thoroughly before I try mopping the floor.

  3. That I really need a haircut.


Also that this area is much more humid than my hometown, which means the mopped floor fails to dry in an appropriate amount of time. Which is zero. Zero time.

If I close the window and put on the air conditioning I'll be much cooler and also will be able to wander the apartment in my towel indefinitely. On the other hand, my AC has a tendency to shower the kitchen counter with little black grains of dust, and I literally just cleaned that counter.

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