Lack of Motivation

"It means not that I lack discipline, but that there is a mental disconnect between my conscious mind, which says I want or need to do X, and the part of my brain which actually initiates activity. It prevents me from doing things I would very much like to do, as well as things I need to do, rather than indicating simply a lack of interest in doing things which are not immediately rewarding."

Maud explains a symptom of depression in a way quite unlike any I've ever heard, which suddenly makes a lot of sense to me.

I am considering adopting the conclusion that I am better this year than I was last year. This is still quite tentative, though, being as how it's a pretty radical conclusion for me. I suspect that last year (and for some time before that) I expended untold amounts of energy trying to set aside a persistent idea that I was not where I was supposed to be.