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Summer's Over
Sunday, 14 October 2012 10:24Summer is ending.
This is the last week before the new semester. Even though my classes don't start next Sunday, I still feel pretty well nervous, especially since I just spent an hour working out my schedule and it's very well in flux. There are some classes I don't know if I will be able to take, and I'm not 100% certain how I'm going to gather enough credits to complete my degree this year. All I know is that I'm putting my foot down and I am not willing to let this degree stretch out any further. The academic schedule has been very bad for me and I can't keep it up.
My ten year high school reunion is this week. It feels strange that ten years have passed, even though so much has happened and I changed a lot in that time. Not all of it good. In fact I don't think I've ever felt as good about myself as right after I graduated. Not sure how I feel about that but, there it is. New years and high school reunions are a bad time to try and pour meaning into, because drawing a line and saying, "This is it, now everything is going to change for the better all at once," invariably fails miserably. It's still tempting to try and make one's life into a feel-good story somehow. For me, anyway.
My goals for October, and for the summer in general, haven't gone so well. Somehow there is always so much to do and very little of it gets done. Maybe my sister is right and it's time for me to start forgiving myself for not getting everything done. She claims it's like this for everyone, but I don't know. Maybe I'll make myself a list (or an essay, heh) of everything I did this summer. At any rate today I have several important chores that can't be delayed so I'm going to endeavor to keep busy and productive for at least the bulk of daylight hours. Daylight runs out early, now, that also makes me feel less productive.
At the end of the day most of my feelings are just tricks that one part of my brain plays on the other parts.
This is the last week before the new semester. Even though my classes don't start next Sunday, I still feel pretty well nervous, especially since I just spent an hour working out my schedule and it's very well in flux. There are some classes I don't know if I will be able to take, and I'm not 100% certain how I'm going to gather enough credits to complete my degree this year. All I know is that I'm putting my foot down and I am not willing to let this degree stretch out any further. The academic schedule has been very bad for me and I can't keep it up.
My ten year high school reunion is this week. It feels strange that ten years have passed, even though so much has happened and I changed a lot in that time. Not all of it good. In fact I don't think I've ever felt as good about myself as right after I graduated. Not sure how I feel about that but, there it is. New years and high school reunions are a bad time to try and pour meaning into, because drawing a line and saying, "This is it, now everything is going to change for the better all at once," invariably fails miserably. It's still tempting to try and make one's life into a feel-good story somehow. For me, anyway.
My goals for October, and for the summer in general, haven't gone so well. Somehow there is always so much to do and very little of it gets done. Maybe my sister is right and it's time for me to start forgiving myself for not getting everything done. She claims it's like this for everyone, but I don't know. Maybe I'll make myself a list (or an essay, heh) of everything I did this summer. At any rate today I have several important chores that can't be delayed so I'm going to endeavor to keep busy and productive for at least the bulk of daylight hours. Daylight runs out early, now, that also makes me feel less productive.
At the end of the day most of my feelings are just tricks that one part of my brain plays on the other parts.
