(no subject)

Wednesday, 7 June 2017 19:05
lea_hazel: The Little Mermaid (Default)
I feel bad about things but it will (probably) go away.

Life Update

Wednesday, 24 May 2017 12:54
lea_hazel: Arthritis: It does the body bad (Health: Arthritis)
I feel like yesterday was somehow several days rolled into one, and in general this week so far feels like there has been a lot of it. So I am doing very little of today. I will go out grocery shopping at some point because I don't even have cornflakes and milk. I have some emails and messages I intend to respond to. I am working hard on tamping down the anxious instinct to mentally recite all the things I "should" be doing Arya Stark style. I am reading a review of Daughter of Mystery, which I've been meaning to read since the dawn of time, give or take (actually September or thereabouts).

I wrote yesterday and I wrote on Sunday, and I have a plan for how to go on, so on the whole I's say that I'm capital-O Okay.

Which is all I can really ask for.

Computer Woes

Sunday, 12 March 2017 16:51
lea_hazel: A frowning white theater mask (Feel: Sad Face :()
I am, shall we say, not thrilled to report that my computer decided to start giving me trouble on Saturday morning. I am getting it picked up for fixing tonight, hopefully. I still hope that it can be given another life, despite the many times I've had to have to fixed. I have no idea whether Windows errors of this type are usually terminal or not, but at any rate, I am mentally prepared to rely on my new laptop (which I've only had since November) for the near future. Or medium future.

With a functioning laptop, it's hard to justify replacing the desktop immediately. In the long run, yeah, I'll want to eventually. But in the past I've had times when my single major source of entertainment only ran on the desktop, and that's not the case right now. I could do quite well and I could put it off... for a while. IDK. Maybe I can't justify having a desktop at all, right now.
lea_hazel: I am surrounded by tiny red hearts (Feel: Love)
Checking my blog, I realize it's not simple to immediately catalog how many blog posts I wrote in 2016. With a little more effort, I can say that 2016 brought twelve review posts, nine writing posts, four general meta posts, and four admin posts. More specifically, two "con report" posts, one each for Olamot and Icon, and two posts marking NaNoWriMo.

Cut for a whole lot of blather. )

(no subject)

Sunday, 21 August 2016 20:50
lea_hazel: The Little Mermaid (Default)
I am without my phone and without my tablet and I literally don't own an alarm clock. What the hell.

Not to mention I am now also without an ebook reader. Small comfort that this only happened after I finished an dposted and double-checked my review.

Life, in short

Tuesday, 26 July 2016 11:52
lea_hazel: Neuron cell (Science: Brains)
Last week: first half of the week (and the second half of the previous) was dominated by the exam I had to take for the OU, fortunately my only one of the season (since I tanked badly on linear algebra). I didn't study quite well enough, but the exam went decently and I came out of it after an hour and a half feeling okay. And was able to put the matter out of mind and spend the evening and the following day decompressing in the extreme.

Then I went back to work and readjusted to routine, after a week of feeling weirdly detached from my own life and the schedule I built for myself. This is still a work in progress, I suppose. On Thursday they held a kind of team event which took us out of the office. I enjoyed it, but it was hot and I came home exhausted. On Friday my sister pointed out that I had been sunburned, a little bit, around the collar and on the back of my neck. Dedicated nerd, vampire jokes etc. etc. My doctor also says that my vitamin D is critically low again.

This week: work. On Sunday night I went to see the new Ghostbusters with my brother and found it delightful. Laughed out loud more than once, a rarity for me with comedies. Today is my first dedicated writing day in a while and I'm finding it hard to get back in the rhythm. Probably because sometime in the last week or so I sank back into The Sims 2 of all things, and last night I stayed up much later than I had intended.

I actually realized several times that I forgot to cross-post my review of Martha Wells' dragon shapeshifter books, but I kept forgetting to do something about it. I'm posting it now, back-dated. And I need to think on what my next blog post should be. I mean, I could review Ghostbusters, but I really don't have anything intelligent to say that hasn't been said a billion times already.

I made some writing-related business decisions re: Patreon and itch.io, but since I haven't properly implemented anything, it's soon to concern with that. I am making inroads with Ren'py, though, I can say that much. And with the script of my in-progress game taking on a distinct shape, I think I could make a decent visual novel out of it, if I can find the right assets. And then I would have something to put on my itch.io, and to link to when I say grandiose things like "I am a game writer".

Cell Trouble

Friday, 15 July 2016 12:24
lea_hazel: A frowning white theater mask (Feel: Sad Face :()
My cellphone has been giving me trouble for a couple of weeks now, refusing to charge sometimes or giving me contradictory information about how high the battery charge was. I was getting all set up to order a new battery off Amazon or something. Then I decided to be a little smarter about it and took it to one of the phone stores that has a lab. The guy said that it's the socket thingie in the hpone that needs replacing and gave me an estimate, which even in worst case scenario is still only, like, half the cost of a new phone. Still a bunch more than a battery could cost, though.

Now I'm wondering whether my parents still have that archaeological cellphone that they kept around from when my sister was studying abroad. I do have my SIM card, so that might be convenient. Given that I don't even own a watch.

Feeling a lot less smug about all those opinion pieces lamenting how "dependent" we as a society have become on mobile devices. Not that I can't function without my phone, or anything. It's still terribly inconvenient, though, and there are all these phone numbers and things on my SIM that I just. Don't have saved anywhere else.

...behind.

Sunday, 3 July 2016 08:34
lea_hazel: The outlook is somewhat dismal (Feel: Crash and Burn)
I'm rather behind on replies and some other things, so please bear with me. I will get back to everyone, hopefully soon.

(no subject)

Thursday, 12 May 2016 15:11
lea_hazel: A frowning white theater mask (Feel: Sad Face :()
I am not actually happy with that review but today has been one of those days and something needed to happen.

Life Update

Saturday, 9 April 2016 18:32
lea_hazel: The outlook is somewhat dismal (Feel: Crash and Burn)
"There's no reason why I can't work, study and write at the same time."

Later: "I can't work, study and write at the same time."
lea_hazel: Typewriter (Basic: Writing)
The latter part of the winter has been pretty busy for me. I work part-time, I have a writing workshop, classes have started up again for the spring semester, and I always have a stack of writing deadlines waiting, not to mention keeping up with blogging. One of my main missions for the writing workshop has been to pare down my works in progress to something less menacing, mostly by setting aside my incomplete works and moving on. Writing is difficult work and if I don't focus, I'll never finish any of my projects.

I love feeling like a versatile writer. I write in different styles and genres. I've been getting into both interactive fiction and game-writing. I've gone back to writing in Hebrew as well as English. Trying new and different things is exciting, but it has to come at the expense of something. As I narrow down my criteria for what stays and what has to go, I've had to consider my own investment but also my potential audience in the calculation of what works and what doesn't.

Which is all just a roundabout way of saying I'm putting the Collar of the Damned universe on ice. This doesn't mean I'll never write in it again. More like, if I'm being realistic, I haven't been writing in it. Of all the projects I've been preoccupied with in the past few months, CotD has occupied a very low rung. Just high enough to weigh on my mind and affect my productivity, but not high enough to write and publish. My last story was published in August. Everything else is half-finished or barely-begun.

Not much will change. I am just formalizing what has been the objective reality for a while now. Much as I love it, CotD has no audience and my affection alone doesn't generate enough interest to sustain it in the long-term. My time is better spent on original short stories, games, and reviews. All of which I will continue to publish to my writing blog and my philome.la account respectively.
lea_hazel: The Little Mermaid (Default)
Yesterday I finally put down a full first draft of the "gill-growing virus" story I was stewing over last week. I printed it out for the workshop and I'm hoping I can get some feedback on it. Having a compete story in Hebrew that I'm pleased with will be refreshing.

I am still behind schedule for school, and starting to wonder whether doing things at the last minute motivates me and I should just accept it and stop stressing about not having things figured out in advance.

So far today I have reread and typed up some of the workshop stuff from November, and I'm rereading some fairy tales too, for inspiration. I still intend to get some writing done in the afternoon, despite waffling most of the morning away for no apparent reason.
lea_hazel: The Little Mermaid (Default)
The less said about the elections, the better. Suffice to say, Wednesday morning was rough, not just because of the inexplicable URT infection I've been nursing. I've decided the only cure is video game political assassinations. Plural, if possible.

Meanwhile, I'm keeping up with being sick. Drinking lots of orange juice and tea with honey. Sleeping a lot. Got a doctor's appointment, which will be extremely helpful because doctors can do a lot to treat (probably) viral infections. Making a conscious decision not to think about work until I have to. Also putting off thinking about contracts and deadlines and ugh.

I'm debating between making a post about Skyrim and making a post about family legends.
lea_hazel: The outlook is somewhat dismal (Feel: Crash and Burn)
Dragging myself out of bed when the first alarm rings (fine, I snoozed for ten minutes) only because I know that I have an early eye exam and showing up at nine isn't an option. Bluh. My lack of motivation this winter is starting to really drain me.
lea_hazel: The Little Mermaid (Default)
All of my writing energy seems to be going towards my daily pages, and when I get it there never seems to be anything that I feel the need to share with the rest of the world. Obviously, if I were writing full-time this would have to change. Then again, I'd also have some structured subjects to talk about.

Reading: I was reading The Summer Prince but I took a short break and lost my momentum. The quality of prose is good and it's stocked with all sorts of good, shiny little ideas, but they can't obscure the fact that the premise of the book is human sacrifice. It's a hard sell, and I'm not sold. Then I started reading The Tenant of Wildfell Hall and I was pretty enthralled for a while, but Helen's diary is a hard read and I took a break and didn't pick it up again yet I promise nothing. Now I'm reading Late Eclipses (one of the Toby Daye books) and pretty well tearing through it. I read a lot on the weekend, which was nice.

I am also reading ungodly amounts of Skyrim fanfic (how the hell did video game fandom even happen to me?). And I tried digging into the [community profile] femslashex archives from this year but haven't even made a dent.

Writing: Yuletide was going well, and then it stalled. I'm nervous. My piece is coherent, but it's under a thousand words and I fear it's inevitably to be seen as incomplete. How to go about completing it to standard is something I need to stew on. Most of my other fanfic is stalled, but I did make a breakthrough last week with something I've been stuck on for a while. Relationship-type dialogue, and a more complex sort than what I have dealt with mostly up to now. My Collar of the Damned stuff is also stalled. I try not to dwell too hard on how many open WIPs I have. It is depressing.

Of course, the reason for all of this is my current fixation with Skyrim fanfic, of which I have been producing a fairly respectable amount. Anatomy of a fandom infatuation. I actually think about that subject a lot, now.

Days

Monday, 22 September 2014 23:47
lea_hazel: Neuron cell (Science: Brains)
Days keep disappearing from under me. I have to try and look back and count what I did with my hours, where they all went.

I'm cooking a family dinner this week, and next week I have a job interview. Part of me would rather sit here and drink iced coffee and play Sunless Sea or Skyrim all day.
lea_hazel: Neuron cell (Science: Brains)
I am trying to both write and feel good about things.

Things I am doing: morning words on 750words have treated me pretty well. stack Exchange has also been pretty good to me, especially writes.SE. Actual words on paper have not gone well, but I've been trying to put together plots and thinking about meta and characterization. I want to know how far I can stretch a character like Aya, who has no canonical backstory. I might have to cave and make a canon for her, IDK.

Staying with my sister went surprisingly okay. I have also succeeded in meeting a friend after work, so that's three evenings this week that I spent with company, rather than sitting in my living room. Paging through Tumblr and playing Sunless Sea. And not writing. Yesterday I worked the morning, which was a bit annoying. Next Friday is family birthday, and the one after that is friend birthday.

And the Friday following is Dragon*Con OMG.

During free hours at work, I've been studying up on HTML 5 canvas element, trying to make a dynamically generated family tree. Between JavaScript and DOM, I've succeeded in creating an interface that allows adding named nodes and creating edges between them. If I backed it with Rails and MySQL I bet I could produce a half-decent shipping chart generator.

Games I need to review on Dreamwidth, because I have too much to say for Tumblr to be sufficient: Sunless Sea, Unrest, Broken Age. Meta essays I need to write: magic, power and nobility in secondary world fantasy.

Life Stuff

Wednesday, 11 June 2014 21:55
lea_hazel: A frowning white theater mask (Feel: Sad Face :()
IDK, I guess the whole tired, listless, "WTF where did my evening hours go?" was not so much a commute thing as a gainfully-employed thing. "I'm gonna have so much time to read and write and do stuff in the evenings!" Pfft.
lea_hazel: A frowning white theater mask (Feel: Sad Face :()
Emotional rollercoaster! Wheeeee!
lea_hazel: The Little Mermaid (Default)
It's been ages since I wrote for DW and I want to write a post. The problem is a lot has happened and also nothing has happened at all, so I'm drawing a blank on what to write.

I do work. I think I am going to do well at this job, although maybe it's soon to tell. And I fuck up at looking for an apartment, because that's the type of adulting I mess up and then get anxious about, which causes me to mess up more. And I have decided not to think about discrete mathematics until I have a little more time on my hands and a little space to breathe.

I've been exploiting my tablet and my Kobo app to glom books. I'd like to read three books a month this year, that's my stated goal. So I have given myself permission to read the books I'm reading, instead of getting stuck on "reading" books I never pick up (sorry, China Mieville).

Right now I'm reading the third October Daye book. Despite the background presence of an "adversarial" manly lust-interest who ticks me off by virtue of existing, I find I quite like it. Something about the atmosphere or the texture of the book satisfies some deeply-held need I've had for urban fantasy, in a way that's usually been thwarted before.

I'd like to write but when I get home I'm too tired for even low-rent porn.

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