lea_hazel: The outlook is somewhat dismal (Feel: Crash and Burn)
2014-07-26 08:15 pm
Entry tags:

Thinking Difficulties

My living space is awful now and I need to think of contingencies, which is extra difficult because it's hard for me to think in a messed up living space. Also I'm spitting mad at my landlord and also the world.

I spent hours today playing The Sims 2 and not even really enjoying it very much. Really finding it hard to attach my mind to a positive constant. It would be nice to have a smoke gene scroll on Flight Rising, is what I'm saying.

Eating is extra hard because the leak situation is centered in the kitchen corner and not exactly encouraging me to think positively of food (which I have).
lea_hazel: Kermit: OMG YAY *flail* (Feel: OMGYAY)
2014-07-12 09:13 pm

Adulting

Folded the clean white laundry; put in a load of colors to wash; ate several really pretty sensible meals; got dressed and got out of the house; did a little mental health reading; unboxed my printer, still need to find a power cable that fits; wrote a little; did stretches.

Still need to turn off the computer to hook it up to the emergency power outage thingum. I think that's where the printer's power cord went. Also blood tests and some paperwork to do with the utility bills. And I need to go up to Jerusalem some time this week and figure some shit out, but IDK, that's less urgent?
lea_hazel: The outlook is somewhat dismal (Feel: Crash and Burn)
2014-07-07 05:53 pm
Entry tags:

Little Woes

Earlier today I had an idea but I didn't write it down and now it's gone. Also I've been angsting about fandom and politics.

Then I came home and very gratefully received the aid of a well-meaning person in getting my washing machine operational. Well-meaning individual left after determining that the machine worked, and some ten minutes later the dirty water from the short cycle started draining onto my floor. Did I mention that I don't have a new desk yet? The computer chassis was on the floor. Commence emergency mopping.

Now I'm watching the machine with hawk-eyes and once I've ruled it fit for active duty I'm going to commence emergency mopping on myself.
lea_hazel: I am surrounded by tiny red hearts (Feel: Love)
2014-07-05 12:46 pm

Unlazy Habits

As a responsible resident it is my duty to patronize coffee shops on the weekend, and so this morning I treated myself to a nice brunch. Then I cleaned the apartment thoroughly and consequently came to three conclusions:

  1. That I need to clean more often.

  2. That I really need to sweep thoroughly before I try mopping the floor.

  3. That I really need a haircut.


Also that this area is much more humid than my hometown, which means the mopped floor fails to dry in an appropriate amount of time. Which is zero. Zero time.

If I close the window and put on the air conditioning I'll be much cooler and also will be able to wander the apartment in my towel indefinitely. On the other hand, my AC has a tendency to shower the kitchen counter with little black grains of dust, and I literally just cleaned that counter.
lea_hazel: The outlook is somewhat dismal (Feel: Crash and Burn)
2014-07-01 05:38 pm

Relief

Apartment business I just about over and done with. At the end of the day, everything that needed to get done was done, with much help from certain quarters (and significantly less from others). I have a few loose ends to wrap, but I feel I can take a much deserved break into more low-key shore activity.

Which means now is as good a time as any to establish a good grocery shopping routine, and corresponding menu. Maybe I'll get myself on a decent meal schedule, finally.
lea_hazel: The outlook is somewhat dismal (Feel: Crash and Burn)
2014-06-15 09:53 pm
Entry tags:

Fortress

In my fortress, a lot of things that are normally very difficult and anxiety-inducing were suddenly easy and routine to the point of not disrupting my emotions at all.

That's why I call it a fortress. )

Anyway, I don't have a therapist to brag to, so you get to hear about it instead.
lea_hazel: Don't make me look up from my book (Basic: Reading)
2014-06-04 01:00 pm

Update

Yesterday I moved into my new place: a rental, quite costly, much nearer my workplace than my previous home.

For context: today is a holiday, which means yesterday was erev chag - holiday starts at sunset the previous day, and many/most commercial things are closed/unavailable, depending on the status quo. Tomorrow is a workday, but Friday is another such half-day, because of Shabbat. My new neighborhood has a fairly lax status quo. Like, there is a non-kosher cafe across the street from me.

My internet line gets installed tomorrow morning. I was preparing to struggle with entertaining myself and keeping busy all holiday. And I was prepared! For noodle's sake, I packed three boxes of books! Then I discovered a neighborly open wifi connection.

The place is still partly or mostly unpacked, and has a number of unsightly hazards that need dealing with, some stuff of mine I need to replace, and a few necessary chores. Not quite in hosting shape, and I'm still not totally comfortable in it. But that was to be expected. It might take a while to banish that agoraphobic "I need to take a rest from this place" feeling.

So much else to write, but hopefully I can make a proper blog post tomorrow evening.
lea_hazel: The outlook is somewhat dismal (Feel: Crash and Burn)
2014-05-28 11:12 pm

Apartment Update

I have the actual keys in hand.

Let the packing festivities begin.
lea_hazel: The outlook is somewhat dismal (Feel: Crash and Burn)
2014-05-16 11:58 am

"I'm going to blog more this week," and other lies we tell ourselves.

My move has been delayed by a tenant-renter domino effect. I'm not sure what my feelings on this are. I'm uncertain of a lot of my feelings right now. I got a book about cognitive behavioral therapy and have been reading it in careful increments, but I think that might have been optimistic.

Just a bit ago I felt like I had a lot to say.

I've been picking at the first world SF anthology. Short stories are hard for me to engage with, but I enjoyed several of the ones I read. I think I'll try to dedicate a post to the book, later on. I've also been replaying Cinders now that it's on Steam and getting a sceond wind, and playing the hell out of Heroine's Quest.

Dumbing of Age has been ratcheting up the drama something fierce. Two of my favorite female characters are coming into crisis over their angsty backstories at the same time, and somehow they've come into a collision course, too.

The [community profile] trope_bingo deadline is coming up fast, and I'm coming to terms with the fact that I'll likely fail this one as well. I'm not distressed as such over work taking time away from my hobbies, because duh, reality. I think I was just clinging a little to the idea of making a checkbox-shaped space in my brain and labeling it "trope bingo", mostly because of my own issues with procrastination and completing projects.

There was conflict at the office this week that distressed me. It wasn't aimed at me, or even between employees, but it was just very uncomfortable for a while.

Oh! As part of not having the energy to do anything fun, I've spent most of the week with pizza and Person of Interest season three. Yes, I'm up to that part. Super impressed by the fact that it's not only a fridging, but a conduit fridging. Like, the whole thing is set up not only for the edification and suffering of the male characters, but to tear them apart and consequently bring them back together, closer than ever. At least, that's my take on it.

Anyway, I'd best wrap up this patchwork quilt of an entry before I think of something else, and then another after that.
lea_hazel: The outlook is somewhat dismal (Feel: Crash and Burn)
2014-05-10 11:58 am

Moving House

The previous occupant of my new apartment is meant to be leaving near the end of this week. Safe to say that the initial, "oh, that's a while from now!" dismay at signing the lease has changed to, "I need to get everything done now."

I've never moved out of town before, and between that and work I have a little less leeway than previous moves. Once certain things are moved I have to be in, or else I'd have to stay with my parents for a weekend and that could get messy for everyone involved. Even in a two-week window, I've already managed to put things off too long. To wit, the phone company needs two weeks' notice for installing my router in the new place.

Organizing is not my strong suit. All I know is, I need a bed, a fridge and an internet connection before I can live somewhere.
lea_hazel: Arthritis: It does the body bad (Health: Arthritis)
2014-05-06 01:32 pm

Perhaps the Weather Is Turning

There's been a heat-wave for several days, but it's pretty cloudy out. Cloudy and hot, and odd combination. I'm not sure whether it's the odd weather or something else, but my joints have started acting up. Last night I went out to a game event with some friends at the local LGBT center, and towards the end of the evening my right arm was hurting something fierce. Even my hands are giving me trouble. It's something like thirty degrees out and I'm sitting around with fingerless gloves (which really help).

Life )

Mostly everything is good. I think writing a blog post (which I haven't made a proper one of in a while) will probably help me gather my mind. I'll put on some jeans and pop out to see what the whether is tangibly like. Maybe I'll dash into the city for a few chores.
lea_hazel: The Little Mermaid (Default)
2014-04-04 10:10 pm

I Fold the Laundry in Increments

It's been ages since I wrote for DW and I want to write a post. The problem is a lot has happened and also nothing has happened at all, so I'm drawing a blank on what to write.

I do work. I think I am going to do well at this job, although maybe it's soon to tell. And I fuck up at looking for an apartment, because that's the type of adulting I mess up and then get anxious about, which causes me to mess up more. And I have decided not to think about discrete mathematics until I have a little more time on my hands and a little space to breathe.

I've been exploiting my tablet and my Kobo app to glom books. I'd like to read three books a month this year, that's my stated goal. So I have given myself permission to read the books I'm reading, instead of getting stuck on "reading" books I never pick up (sorry, China Mieville).

Right now I'm reading the third October Daye book. Despite the background presence of an "adversarial" manly lust-interest who ticks me off by virtue of existing, I find I quite like it. Something about the atmosphere or the texture of the book satisfies some deeply-held need I've had for urban fantasy, in a way that's usually been thwarted before.

I'd like to write but when I get home I'm too tired for even low-rent porn.
lea_hazel: The outlook is somewhat dismal (Feel: Crash and Burn)
2014-03-19 07:46 pm

(no subject)

I did a foolish thing. I let people convince me to put off looking for an apartment, and now I'm at the point where everything is chipping away at my energy, leaving me with not enough to do the things that help me keep my energy up. I've resorted to too many shortcuts and skipped too many important steps. I feel like I'm running out of safety buffer.
lea_hazel: Kermit: OMG YAY *flail* (Feel: OMGYAY)
2014-03-02 02:07 pm

I Could Never Be Down on Kudos

You know those memes that go around periodically about posting fanfic and irrationally hoping to get instant feedback? Today I crossposted four ficlets from [community profile] fic_promptly comments to AO3. Within three hours they all had hits and kudos, and I got a gushing comment on an older fic, too. One of my favorites, in fact (even if some days I can't stand to look at it).

My apartment needs a thorough cleaning but I don't feel like doing it.

I've decided that it's time to give up on doing a blackout for [community profile] genprompt_bingo. It was a nice thought, and hypothetically feasible, but I just don't have that kind of attention span right now. I have too many projects running in parallel. Meanwhile my big bang piece has reached the interesting part and now I get to decide how intereting it's going to be.

Lots going on. Family stuff, possible job prospect. Frankly I'd rather keep blogging about fanfic and avoid thinking about it for a couple of hours.
lea_hazel: Neuron cell (Science: Brains)
2013-09-08 08:02 pm

Testing

I've been trying to test my system to see if I can find out what's causing the spontaneous reboots, before the technician comes to check it tomorrow morning. He was the one who replaced my power supply, the second this calendar year, so it better not be that again or I might get pissed. Likely it's the graphics card, which will be a depressingly expensive replacement. After a little more than two years, now it decides to quit on me?

I switched the power to one of the undamaged sockets, so at least I'm pretty sure it's not that. Those are also getting replaced tomorrow. Fun times for all. Maybe I should get my tablet and do some reading in the comfort of my own welcoming bed. *Yawn*
lea_hazel: A frowning white theater mask (Feel: Sad Face :()
2013-09-06 07:16 pm

Sudden Blackout = Fun

My computer is giving me trouble.

A sordid tale )

As a side-note, my hate for the Dragon Age rune system is vast as an ocean.
lea_hazel: The Little Mermaid (Default)
2013-09-01 08:19 pm

???

There is an unrecognizable arthropod on my kitchen table. I don't think it's a spider, and it doesn't look like any indoors insect that I've ever seen.

It's a mystery.
lea_hazel: A frowning white theater mask (Feel: Sad Face :()
2013-08-31 12:43 pm

Apartment/Computer Woes

So the leak in my shower faucet was fixed and now water isn't seeping into my living room wall anymore. The bookcase is pulled out to let the wall dry and once that's done it'll be repainted because gross. But the dampness must have already gotten into the new electrical socket because I'm getting those sudden computer reboots again, usually while the computer is taxed. By running calculations on behalf of BOINC for the greater good of humanity by playing too much Dragon Age.

Meanwhile I'm having explosive Dragon Age: Inquisition feelings (why a title that starts with an I? you used roman numerals before, new players will think it's the first in the series). Which is good, because fannish feels push down the anxiety about not finding a job, ever.
lea_hazel: Kermit: OMG YAY *flail* (Feel: OMGYAY)
2013-08-27 01:18 pm

Success Stories

I had this massive* pile of papers that has been plaguing me for years, just sitting on my shelf or all scattered all over my coffee table and couch. This week I decided to dedicate a morning to clearing the shit out of that pile, throwing away what I don't need and filing what I do in already-organized folders. Doing this would clear a space on my bottom shelf that is 1) exactly the size of a printer and 2) right next to the socket my computer is plugged into.

Now it's 1 PM and I am paper-pile-less at last. I feel free.**

In other apartment-related news the leak in my shower that was molding up my wall is sealed. Once the wall dries up and is repainted, and the dubious electrical wiring fixed, everything will be back to business as usual. Then I can proceed to figuring out why my cabinet still smells like computer-cleaning gunk even though I took out all the sprays and things and stored them elsewhere.

* Not that huge, the bigness is the size of the psychological threat it represents.
** Don't worry, I'm sure I'll have a new one in no time.